


Envy

by Ophiel



Series: Lyrium and Faith [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 23:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4896391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ophiel/pseuds/Ophiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn knows that she must make herself worthy to be called the Herald. Yet, lost in Envy's dream, she begins to see everything that she could possibly accomplish as she is stripped bare of all she knew about herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Envy

Evelyn blinked as the world swam into view. It was dark here, everything lit by dim green light. A strange haze hung in the air, swirling about her. She felt alone here, and yet not. This place felt familiar, yet violated. She was standing on faded grass in a room that looked like a vaulted hall. Pillars rose through the haze, shadows of black against green. She stepped forward, the mist parting before her as whispers murmured around her, words barely on the edge of hearing.

The lights appeared in the mist, charred bodies frozen in writhes of pain as their faces burned. These bodies were from the Temple of Sacred Ashes. She grit her teeth, her heart racing from an old forgotten fear. She stepped around the grisly corpses, the smell of burning flesh strong in her nose. It turned her stomach.

There was a whisper before her and she looked up. Two shadows stood in the distance, familiar silhouettes. She walked forward, seeing… "Cullen? Josephine?" she said in shock. They stared ahead as if they never heard her, eyes blinking but unseeing. "What-" There was an excited gasp that echoed in the darkness, startling her.

"Will this shape let me know you?" asked a voice. She turned to see, emerging from a hazy wall, Leliana.

"Leliana?"

"Everything tells me about you," Leliana smirked, her voice bearing a strange metallic tone to it in the Fade. Evelyn pulled herself together. This was not unfamiliar to her. This was the Fade, it had to be. In the Circle, the Mediums would summon spirits from across the Veil to create realms for the Harrowing. This was another realm, and not one shared with a friendly spirit. She took a deep breath, telling herself that the stench of burning flesh was not real.

"So will this," Leliana purred, stepping behind Cullen, a dagger in her hand. She drew his head back, the dagger at his throat.

"Are you here to tempt me or copy me, demon?" Evelyn asked, her voice controlled.

Leliana said nothing. Cullen turned to look at her with those honey eyes. And Leliana drew the dagger across his throat. Evelyn felt the terror of it all rising, but it burned like rage inside her as she knew the sight wounded her. The demon seemed to know too. "Are you going to copy me?" it mocked in its own voice through Leliana's lips and vanished into a wall as Cullen slumped down to the ground, his neck gaping open and bleeding. Evelyn looked away as the smell of blood filled the air. It wasn't real. She had to rememeber that it wasn't real.

Josephine chuckled next to her. "Being you will be so much more interesting than being the Lord Seeker," Josephine mocked, toying with the dagger that cut his throat. Evelyn did not look at her, staring ahead instead. This was a demon talking. She could not let it win over her. "When I am done, the Elder One will ascend, and I will be you."

"You will never be me," Evelyn's voice cut through the whispers and echoes. "And your Elder One will never be divine, such is the conceit of mortals."

Josephine laughed once more, coming up behind her like a mist. "He knows, he was there!" she smiled and leaned close to Evelyn's cold glare. "He wants you to serve like everyone else, by dying in the right way."

Evelyn sneered slightly. "Never. Talk all you want, fool."

Josephine stepped back from her and walked into the green mist.

"I am not your toy," she heard behind her and recognized the voice. "I am Envy, and I will know you." She looked over her shoulder at Cullen, standing with dagger in hand. Her eyes glinted blue with suppressed rage. She would kill this demon for this. "Tell me, what you think, Herald," Cullen growled, appearing beside her with a shadow of herself before him, eyes glowing green with Fade fire, wearing the same garb that she wore when she stepped out of the Fade. Cullen stabbed into the shadow's back with a look of glee on his face. The shadow Evelyn fell, with a cry of pain, even as she herself felt the sting of the blade in her body. This was the Fade. Her mind made it real, and she refused to allow it. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Tell me what you feel…" Cullen growled hungrily once more. She spun around to see the War Table, markers burning upon the maps. She stepped back and bumped into something behind her. She turned to see the shadow of herself curl up in pain, grasping at her innards that spilled from a wound across her abdomen. Evelyn looked down at the knife in her hand. She had disemboweled herself- She gasp and threw the knife away into the mist as Envy's chuckle filled the air.

Evelyn turned, holding on to her anger. She ran through an open door and blinked. Four swords were leveled at her from all sides as she knelt on cold stone. She looked up into the accusing eyes of Cassandra. She recognized this, this was when she awoke in Haven after the explosion at the Conclave. "Our one chance for peace between the mages and the templars, and now it's over," Cassandra said, her voice as hard as her eyes. "If you had not been there-"

"They would have died anyway!" Evelyn snapped.

"-You're lying!" Cassandra growled as Evelyn backed away. She saw on the ground the shadow of herself as she stepped through the sword as if it were smoke. She grit her teeth and moved out of the circle as Cassandra continued to interrogate the shadow. "Foolishness," Evelyn snarled and walked through Cassandra to the opposite door and threw it open.

"-The Inquisition rivals any kingdom in Thedas," she heard. Two soldiers stood before her shadowed self.

"Good, our reach just about matches my ambition," she heard her shadow say.

"Honestly," Evelyn snapped in irritation. "Is wanting what you cannot have your only pleasure, demon?"

"Accusing," her shadowed self laughed. "Is that how you are? Finding weaknesses?" And the vision exploded before her. She swore and ran on through the nightmare realm, passing cells and prisons before being faced with another vision, Mother Giselle dragged in chains as her shadowed self branded her a heretic.

"Do you really think people will believe this?" she cried, willing the tears not to come.

"Do your friends know you so well?" Envy smirked through her own shadowed face. "Do they know your petty little fears and the ambition you bear? You wrap yourself in your own pride to hide it all… What would  _he_  think of you..."

Evelyn felt the words cut into her. "I don't care what  _he_  thinks, demon. I will never become this," she growled. She walked past her shadowed self as the vision exploded around her.

"You will die at the hands of the Elder One!" Envy screamed triumphantly.

"Damn this!" She ran ahead, needing to be free, to escape as around here there burst green fire from mounted dogs heads, searing the air. Evelyn cried out and raised her arms to shield her face from the fire that flared around her. The heat scorched her, even as the flames did not touch her. It wasn't real, it wasn't real… but it hurt!

"And through it all, you will see me, rising from the dregs of the Inquisition, making it greater than you could even dream! Who needs a Lord Seeker, when I could be you - the true Inquisitor that Thedas needs!"

"Thedas will never stand for this!" Evelyn cried.

"But you're so close… Become worthy? You don't know how  _worthy_  you are, Herald!"

"Shut up!"

"You're hurting," said a gentle voice then, an oasis of calm in a mad place. It sounded like a young man.

Evelyn blinked at the new voice. "What?" she breathed.

"You're hurting, helpless, hasty; what happens to the hammer when there are no more nails?" came the gentle voice.

"What are you, thing?" Envy growled in the air.

Evelyn did not stop to think, she looked about. The walls of this part of the prison were stained with blood drawn into intricate magical mandalas. Never, never blood magic! She turned from the walls, her way forward barred by green flame. "You cannot run from me, Herald!" Envy gloated. "You cannot run from yourself!"

She saw a side door to the side and ran towards it, slamming the door shut behind her.

Inside was just another room of madness with four floors, one on the ground, two on the walls and one on the ceiling. Evelyn saw fire burning down in an upside down fireplace. On the true floor was a bed, similar to the one she slept in at Haven. She took a moment to catch her breath. The demon was getting to her. Its words too close to home. She had to go back out there.

Her feet were too heavy to move. She thumped the door with her fist as she snarled in anger. She had to go back out there. She touched the door hand.

"Wait."

She paused at the sound of the gentle voice. "Envy is hurting you," it whispered. "Mirrors on mirrors on memories. A face it can feel but not fake. I want to help - you, not Envy." She spun around, seeing a figure on the edge of her vision.

"You… who are you?"

"I'm Cole," said the voice innocently. "We're inside you. Or rather, I'm inside you. You're always inside you." She turned to see a young man standing on the floor of the ceiling, upside down as if it were the true floor.

"Cole?" Evelyn blinked. He wore dirty leather, his hair under a wide-brimmed leather hat covered his eyes. "You're no demon," she murmured.

"Envy hurt you -  _is_  hurting you. I'm here in the hearing to help. It's- It's not usually like this."

"There's nothing usual about this," Evelyn murmured. "Nothing of what you say makes sense. Can you help-" A noise made her spin around, the sound of a hiss outside the room. She backed away, her fists clenching.

"I was watching," Cole said. "I watch. The templars were impressed when you came - but not like the Lord Seeker." She glanced at him, now sitting on the headrest of the bed.

"Fascinating," she couldn't help but note. He moved, but your eyes failed to see him doing so. He just appeared where he was.

"Thank you?"

"Cole," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That Lord Seeker was an Envy demon. It wants to be me."

"Yes. He turned the commanders, fed their fury, their fight. They're red inside."

"What of the others? Are they fighting Envy in the waking world too?"

"No, you're frozen. Envy was trying to take you. I heard it and reached out and then I was here. Thoughts are fast. We're here. Outside time is still. A blade still falls, hanging in the air like the sunset."

"That almost makes sense, Cole. How do I get out of here?"

"Well, you shouldn't. I mean, it's your head, you shouldn't be out of it."

"Then how do I evict… everyone else?" she asked urgently.

"He stretches," Cole said, standing up and walking off the bed. "It takes strength to make this place. Go on and you become weak, thin, too little of him. Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, more and more and Envy breaks down. You break out."

"So I tire him into submission," Evelyn frowned.

"Maybe. I hope it helps, it's better than sitting here and waiting to lose your face."

Cole turned to walk out of the room. "True," Evelyn murmured and ran to follow him.

He was standing before the falling green fire. "Thoughts are loud here," Cole said. "Think water."

"Water?"

"It may help."

Evelyn looked up at the falling fire and shut her eyes. Now she knew where she was. This was her own head. She could break free. She called to mind water, letting the thought surge in her mind's eye. Then she blinked when she felt spray on her face. Water poured from the ceiling, dousing the dogs' heads on the wall and quenching their flames. Cole had vanished. She ran on, ignoring Envy's scream of rage. "I will see more!"

She burst through the door behind the fires and saw on the War Table her own shadowed corpse, Cassandra and Chancellor Roderick argueing over her as she lay impaled on a sword.

"Like the first Inquisition, you shall bring pain and bloodshed!" Envy gloated.

"Unless you don't," Cole's gentle voice cut in. "You don't have to. None of this is real."

"Silence, thing! I am learning!" Envy cried. Evelyn pushed past the vision, vaulting over the War Table and through Roderick, passing through him as if he were smoke. With Cole's gentle words, the Envy demon's stung less, hurt less. She was not alone in her own mind. She was going to break free. That comforted her.

She ran through the prison, passing cell after cell of… people she knew. Gaunt, pleading for food, for mercy. She passed Josephine, her skin pale and bruised, her golden robes tattered as she begged for water. She passed Cullen, huddled in a cell, looking out at her as red lyrium crystals grew from his slumped form. Their red glow lit his armour like the dull light of a forge. She averted her eyes and ran past, not stopping. "Keep running," Cole whispered in her ear. "You're almost up. You're more you there than down here."

She came to a staircase, taking the steps two at a time, she burst through the door out into the light. She was in the courtyard now, the sunlight pale and weak here. She blinked in the light all the same, wincing as her eyes adjusted. "To the Void with this," she growled, anger driving her on like an auger, but it was controlled now. It had purpose. She was going to make Envy pay.

She ran higher and higher in the keep, following the familiar path she had taken with Barris in what felt like an eternity ago. Creatures tailed her now, shades hounded her path and green veilfire threatened to burst at her feet. "Bloody demon!" Evelyn snarled, firing out lightning at the shades, who shattered like glass when her spells touched them.

She passed Orlesian soldiers, muttering about the Inquisition's demon army. Over her dead body, as far as she was concerned. She did feel more like herself here. She felt more alive, everything down there stuck to the soul and ate away at you. She saw the red doors of the main hall at the top of the steps and ran for it, ignoring the fade fire that grasped at her heels.

She reached out to the door and felt herself pulled back. Wearing her shadowed self, Envy picked up up by her neck and slammed her against the door hard. Evelyn cried out as her head slammed against the wood. "Unfair! Unfair!" Envy screamed with her voice. "That thing kept you from giving me your shape!"

"What would you gain from being me?" Evelyn screamed, squirming against the grip at her neck, clawing at Envy's fingers.

Envy seemed to look at her incredulously. "What could you-? Argh!" he growled and lit his hand with green fire. "Once more, we'll start again, more pain- The Elder One still comes!" It touched the fire to her face, searing her. Her screams rang out over the empty Fade.

A shadow appeared behind the demon and Cole blinked into form on the out-stretched hand of one of the monumental statues. "It's frightened of you," Cole said gently.

"Get out of-" Envy began turning to glare at Cole. Evelyn brought her balled fists down on Envy's elbow, knocking itis hand from her neck. She pushed Envy back and slammed her head into its forehead flared with pain from the impact. The world went white.

She felt the world shift around her, solidifying. Wood was shattering before her. She opened her eyes, her hand pressed to her forehead as the remembered the phantom pain. Before her was no longer the Lord Seeker.

Envy reared up, three times as tall as a man. It was pale, spindly, deformed and without a face of its own. It screamed and faded into smoke, vanishing into the hall behind raised magical barriers.

"Andraste's flaming arsehole!" Evelyn growled, watching Envy disappear.

"The Lord Seeker!" Barris barked in shock.

"That was Envy," she said, gripping her staff. "It was a demon impersonating the Lord Seeker. And I think it needs to die."

"You'll get no argument from us," Varric said.

"Then the Lord Seeker..." Cassandra breathed.

"Is either caged or dead," Barris shook his head. "This is madness."

Evelyn charged her staff, lightning crackling from the tip. "Are you going to help me or not?" she asked him sharply.

"Yes, my lady Herald."

The hall was littered with dead red Templars, all deformed with crystals growing out of them. They had been fed lyrium until they themselves had turned into abominations. Now, the uncorrupted Templars were drinking philters of blue lyrium, their bodies changing in in a way Evelyn could sense - they sang with the hum of lyrium. Barris turned to her as the Templars gathered before the altar at the end of the hall behind which Envy had fled. "We will bring down the barriers," he said.

Evelyn nodded. She needed to see this. The barriers were made of what she she and Solas agreed to be warps in the Veil, nullifying all magic thrown at it and dispersing all force. If Barris and the others could suppress the vibrations that warped the Veil for these barriers, they could also suppress the vibrations at the Breach.

She watched them lower their swords into the crumbling wood of the elevated altar. Their bodies glowed with a blue aura. She felt her magic fading as, fresh with lyrium, they warped the Veil, dispersing the energy and nullifying magic in their wake. Evelyn willed lightning into her palm but no sparks came. However, her mark still flared upon command. Good. This was not affected by the Templars magic at least.

There was a thrumming in the Veil. Evelyn looked up at the barrier. "It's working," Solas said. He must have sensed the change in the Veil as well. "Their methods are round-about, but they do work.'' The barrier was flickering, like a reflection disturbed in a pool and then burst into nothingness, pushing the air back in a sudden gust of wind. Evelyn drew her staff as the Templars sank to the ground, spent and worn. "Barris!" Evelyn called as she saw him fall.

"He's down," said a Templar Lieutenant, whom they had rescued in the fight in the Main Hall.

"Look after him!" Evelyn snapped and ran up the stairs past the altar, hunting Envy. "Envy will pay for this! For the Templars, the Lord Seeker, for everything!"

"Be wary," Solas cautioned.

"Fine," Evelyn growled, but slowed her charge as they emerged into the highest courtyard, rain pelting down on them. Two towering Templar sentinel statues flanked the walls as they emerged. Lightning struck the ground, leaving scorched blooms in the wet grass. In the distance, through the storm clouds, Evelyn saw the swirling maw of the breech in the sky, lightning sucked up into the Fade as the clouds got caught in its swirl. Huge red lyrium crystals grew among the broken remains of pillars that littered the ground, making the air sickeningly warm despite the storm.

"Get off the ground when I say so," Evelyn said, eyeing the grass.

"Just give us fair warning, Sparky," Varric said, understanding what she meant. "I don't want to wind up deep fried."

"He will use the Fade to move around," Solas warned. "Stones would be best."

"I touched so much of you," Evelyn heard the metallic voice of Envy ringing in her ears. "But you are selfish with your glory. Now I'm no one."

"You will always be no one!" Evelyn cried out to the storm. "Show yourself!"

There was a scream, guttural and primal. The ground before her glowed green. Evelyn stepped back as Envy burst from the Fade, its six arms balling clawed hands into fists. The rain pelted it, making its human-like skin glisten.

"Dark and desperate, death to make yourself more alive - I used to be like you," Evelyn heard. She smiled to herself as Cole walked up beside her. "I'm not any more, you shouldn't be, either."

Envy did not answer, only screaming in rage to the tempest as it charged. Evelyn passed through it like the winter's breeze and stopped behind the demon, with her staff held low. She drew her hand into a fist, Envy screamed as the rain froze, spearing his body with icy shards. Cassandra, covering her head with her shield, feinted and slashed at Envy's legs as Varric pelted it's face with crossbow bolts. Envy struck out at Varric, but a flash of green caught the strike as Varric was sent stumbling back, unharmed. Evelyn glanced at Solas, standing at the edge of battle, focusing energy through his staff as he strengthened the barriers around them all.

Through it all, Evelyn could see a shadow moving about the monster, Cole fading in and out of view. Evelyn turned her eye to the storm and retreated back to the farthest end of the courtyard where the flagstones pooled with rainwater. She saw Envy fade into the ground once more then and vanish. "Watch out!" Solas shouted even as Envy burst out in front of him and slashed at him. Evelyn saw his barrier catching the blow in a flash of grees as he retreated to fire more bolts of cold at the demon. The demon turned to the next closest foe. "Oh, shi-" Varric grunted before he was thrown back, rents in his breastplate under his coat went deep. He struck the stone pillars and fell limp.

"Envy!" Evelyn called. "Don't you want your prize!" Envy screamed and vanished into the ground again. She began to run but a blast of veilfire burst from the ground in front of her and she froze. Envy caught her in a strike, sending her tumbling over the stones. She felt the barrier around her shatter. Envy struck out a clawed hand to rip her open.

Evelyn rolled out of the way before Cassandra's shield was there, catching the blow that still scored the flagstones. With a cry, the Seeker slashed at Envy's elbow, sending tendons and blood spurting through the air. Evelyn fired off another grasp of cold from her staff as she was prone on the ground, binding its knees. Evelyn saw Cole above the demon, two daggers in his hands, his eyes hidden from view by his hair. He stabbed down into the back of the demon, daggers catching it in the spinal column at its neck. Envy screamed as two of its arms went limp. It reached back and grabbed Cole with the arms that could still move, tossing the boy away into a broken pillar.

"Cole!" Evelyn cried. He got to his feet and vanished.

"Go!" Cassandra cried at her, sending her strikes to the demon's frozen knees. Evelyn scrambled to her feet and ran as Cassandra harried the demon. Varric's bolts rained down as the dwarf found higher elevation on the remains of a pillar as blood coated in his hair. Solas stood near him, raising another barrier over them all. The mage had healed Varric. The demon crashed down on the flagstones as its knees gave way. Cassandra's sword sliced open its armpit severing tendons, her strikes precise and meant to immobilize, as was her Dragon-Hunting heritage.

Evelyn looked up at the sky. "Get up!" she commanded, seeing the clouds roil above them.

Solas and Cassandra scrambled up onto the stumps of broken pillars. Cole was nowhere to be seen. Envy tried to swipe at her with its remaining arms. She raised her staff and lightning lanced down from the sky, a continuous blazing flash that filled the air with the smell of burning flesh. Evelyn's blue eyes flashed purple with the spell, her staff commanding the very clouds above. She saw Envy writhing on the ground, burning, burning. She recalled the fire on her face, the sight of her friends mutilated, the thought that she could ever be like what he showed her - And she burned him some more, the lightning flaring in earnest as thunder rolled overhead.

"Evelyn!" Cassandra called out, trapped on the pillar as lightning arced across the wet grass.

"Stay back!" Evelyn commanded. "Stay back!"

Then a hand was on her shoulder. "You're hurting," she heard Cole's gentle voice in her ear. "It's in you, balling up like a pearl. But let it go. He's already dead."

The light died in Evelyn's eyes, a look of shame crossing her face. She lowered her staff, the bolt ceasing, leaving only a dark shadow that burned the eyes. She winced and grabbed her shoulder, pain washing over her. Her robe was ripped open by Envy's claws, soaking with blood. She glared at the charred remains of Envy as her friends looked at her in shock. "It is done," Evelyn snarled, pulling her mind from Cole's words, wrapping herself in barely contained anger like a cloak. "Let's go get the Templars."


End file.
